FIRE IN THE HOLE!!! (I mean, the kitchen.)

It was a normal Saturday afternoon. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and all was well. But not for long.

After leaving work at approximately 1:30 in the afternoon, I returned home to do some much needed cleaning. I worked my way through the living room, and finally proceeded to the kitchen. When I began cleaning the kitchen, I noticed my favorite candle sitting there on the counter. I figured the kitchen could use some help in the “smell” department, so I proceeded to light the candle. Oh no. Bummer. The wick was defeated. It was no longer. The candle could not light. I have had the candle for quite some time, but always enjoyed how it smelled, so I was very disappointed to see it come to its end. I thought to myself, “Maybe if I melt the candle down, I can put another wick in it and I would get at least a few more lights out of it.

So, I put the candle in a microwave-safe container and put it in the microwave. It was taking so long to melt, so I thought that maybe it would work better if I put it in a pot and melted it on the stove. So, I turned the burner on and searched for a clean pot. For some reason, and I don’t even know why, so don’t ask, I touched the candle to the burner. It melted very quickly. And it smelled good. So, for some stupid reason, I thought it might work pretty good that way. Just rub the candle on the burner and let the fragrance emit from the small clouds of smoke. Well, it wasn’t very much longer that I realized that this was a very stupid idea. (Don’t laugh, you guys!!) So, the burner began to smoke really bad. So, I turned on the vent and swatted the smoke with my hands. (Like that ever really does any good) Anyways. The smoke had pretty much dissipated, so I went ahead to still try and melt the candle in the pot. (Idiot!!! I should have just left it alone) Well, I don’t know exactly how it happened, but when I placed the pot on the burner, something mixed wrong, I don’t know, but flames shot up!! I totally freaked out!!! I was like, “Oh my God!! Oh my God!!” I reached for a bowl that was nearby and splashed dishwater on top of the flames. Stupid!!! The flames got larger!! “Oh my God,” I thought. I started contemplating what would happen if my house totally burnt down. I filled the bowl again, just because I wasn’t going to stand there and not do anything. I drenched the stove with water, the flames looked like they were going to jump up, but then, to my surprise, the flames went out.

Whew! It was so freakin’ scary. I totally thought I was going to burn my house down. Jules had come in during the middle of this and all I could think to say was “Get out - fire!!” My brain was so amuck with thought of the total destruction of everything I owned. It was so scary. My heart was pounding for quite a while afterwards.

Later, Luke came over and I was telling him about the events of my day. I told him about going to work, and cleaning the house and going to Dollar Tree and blah blah, all the rest of my boring day. I totally forgot to tell him about the fire. Then all of the sudden, like an hour later, I remembered and was like, “Oh yeah!! And I lit my kitchen on fire!!” He was laughing at how stupid I was, but that’s okay. I forgive him.

Ok, so slowly but surely I am losing all of my friends. This is pretty sad to me. I am usually the type of person who keeps friends over the course of many, many years. I keep in touch with almost everyone I once knew or befriended. I’ll start from here.

First, their was AC. Now, AC and I are actually still friends, she just lives a couple hundred miles away. She has also become very deep in her church and that has become her life. We will talk every once in a while, but it’s definitely not the same as it used to be. Then, there is JP. JP and I are actually still friends, but she also lives a couple hundred miles away in the other direction. We only talk every great once in a while. She is married so that takes a lot of her time as well. Now, to add to that list of those who are still technically my “friends” but live on the other side of the earth, or state, there is JD, CT and DT. Other than email transmissions with JD every once in a while, I hardly talk to any of them anymore. Then there was BD and VD. I got really close with BD and VD in the last couple years. BD was pretty much my best friend. Well, they both just moved to Hawaii!! So, everyone is freakin’ leaving me!! I can’t believe it. Then there’s GW, who I could go on about for hours. She has been lost permanently. No, she’s not dead, but heading there slowly. Drugs have gotten the best of her. She was my best friend for years on end, and I have watched her slowly decay. I stopped watching a while ago. And then, the most shocking of them all: MG. MG has been my right hand man, my buddy, my big o’ dirty man for years and years and years. And now I am losing him too. And I fear that it is the same cause as was with GW. But this time, I will not watch. I cannot watch. Not him. Not again.
So, now I am left with only my boyfriend, who is a great friend, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not quite the same. I’ve met a new friend. KT, who I’ve actually known for a while but I just started hanging out with her. I think she might be a little too crazy for me. She likes to party a lot and that just isn’t my thing. But she’s fun to hang out with. I don’t know. Other than KT, I have EB, but she’s got 5 kids and a husband. No time for me. Other than her, well, there’s CC, but she lives pretty far out there, and we are so different. We could hang out, but I don’t think it would last very long. Lets see, is there anybody I am missing? No. That’s about it. I have a few others that are like CC, who I could probably hang out with for a few days and then finally go our separate ways. I don’t have that one that can finish your sentence and know exactly what you mean when your words get jumbled.
The only one I have left is my daughter, JR, who is only 5, and my cousin AC, who will be barely 12 in September. Now, AC is totally fun, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I just need an adult. This sucks. I have totally vented here, and no one knows who the heck any of these people are. Except Luke, he probably knows who most of them are.
Honey, this sucks!!! I feel like a little kid in a new school. I don’t have any friends. I guess maybe this is God’s way of slowing me down. Making my life less clamorous. Maybe I should make him my new best friend.
That’s probably what it is.
It still kind of sucks though.
That’s all.

 

Ok, so I know I already posted today, but I have to share this:

The DMV sucks. We all know this. Endless waiting, the roar of little children crying and running amuck, the sound of the computer voice calling out numbers acting as a constant reminder that there are still twenty-one people in front of you....it SUCKS!

But not today. Today I had the funnest time I have ever had at the DMV, ever!!! At first it was the same old thing. Get a number from the desk, find a seat next to someone who doesn’t look sick and sit down and wait. Well, this time I didn’t have to sit next to anyone.

And then comes Portfilio. Yes, his name was Portfiliio. He was a Mexican guy, 23 years old, heavy set guy. Now at first I didn’t say anything to Portfilio. He was tattooed everywhere and looked like he had spent some time in the Pin. He sat next to me, looked at my number and then stared forward. I was bored, so after about ten minutes, I started making casual conversation, like I do with everyone. Well, turns out he HAD spent some time in the Pin. We started talking about his Jail experiences. He started telling me all these stories about what went on, what it was like, etc. He was in there for car theft. Numerous counts. And numerous times, I might add. Now, although this does not seem funny, as the afternoon progressed, I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. He began to tell me about his “cellmates.” What they were in there for, etc. He told me about running into an old neighbor who was locked up for throwing a frozen corn dog at his wife. He told me about accidently being confused with another Portfilio and placed on the sixth floor with the murderers and rapists and how he didn’t sleep for three days until they realized that they had him mixed up. He also gave me some pointers about jail life. How you should invest the money on your books in bags of coffee cause you can auction it off for fifteen items and you can save a lot of money this way. Items include ramen noodles, mustard packets, candy, etc. He explained to me how the auctions worked. A lot more organized than I assumed. It’s kind of like a form of ebay. They write bids on a piece of paper, put them in a sock and start pulling them out of the sock. The highest bid wins. (Meaning the highest number of “items” to be traded for the prize) He said you can make $20.00 go a long way. Now, all of this may still not seem very funny, but every time he would talk about it, he would laugh. Now, this guy was probably 6'2" and 350lbs. He was NOT a small guy. Well, his laugh was that of a four year old child. Seriously. It was the funniest thing. He kept telling stories and laughin’ and everyone around us was cracking up cause he would start laughing. By the time I left, there was probably twenty people who had all turned their chairs and were listening to our conversation. He went on to tell me about the cars he had stolen, and the “spreads” he would eat while locked up. Now, the spreads....eewww....it sounds nasty. You take a ramen noodle soup and crunch up the noodles, still dry, add a little water, tie the bag in a knot and throw it in the microwave. After the noodles are a little cooked, you drain the water, add a couple pieces of bologna, some government cheese and a couple mustard packets. Mix it all up and you got a tasty snack. No, I am totally serious. And the guy was like, “They are so good, dude, you don’t even know.” It was frickin’ hilarious.
Well, after about two hours of pure laughter and jokes, and stories between Portfilio and I, we started to get a little bored. We resorted to Paper, Rock, Scissors which caused even more hysteria to erupt from our spectators. We told every joke we could think of and shared some funny personal stories. He had told me about his friend who got locked up for throwing the frozen corn dog, so I shared my story about the time that my mom beat me with frozen bacon. It was so hilarious. Everyone was cracking up. Especially Portfilio, who’s laugh caused a few snorts and stomach grabs by myself and other viewers. Even the staff was laughing. We had waited so long by then, that I think we were literally going a little crazy. We had a few visitors come and join our group from across the room. An old man named Jerry who was probably about 70, shared a story about his wife who, in anger, tried to throw a phone at him. In doing so, the receiver snapped back from the chord and nailed her right in the eye!! He said he’d never seen a worse black eye!! We had all sorts of visitors.

Finally, the computer voice was getting close to our numbers. I was so frustrated that I told Portfilio that when they called my name, I was going to jump up, scream, “BINGO!!” and run across the room to the window. He started laughing again, along with everyone else and they all were into it. As it got closer and closer, I started getting more nervous. I was B157. They were on B151. On no. Portfilio was G129 and they were on G120. I told Porftilio that if they called his number first, that he had to scream Bingo. At first he was reluctant, but finally he agreed. So, with all of our witnesses, we made the deal and shook on it. (Well, we didn’t really shake, we did that fist to fist thing where you knock your fists together once on top and once on bottom. You know what I mean.) So, the rest of the time was just anticipation. Everyone was rooting us on. (Well, everyone on our side of the building.) Every time they would say a B or G number, everyone was like, “OH MAN!!!” It was so hilarious. We were cracking up so hard. All of the sudden, they called B155, then quickly, B156. I was like, “NOOOO!!!!” So, everyone is there waiting. I grab my purse to get ready to face my shame!! About five minutes passed and we heard G127. Then quickly G128. No way!!! We both were one away!!! Everyone was laughing so hard. Some were cheering for him, and some for me. We waited and waited. Every time the computer would start to speak, we would get all nervous. F043.....A112......J168.......G129!!!
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! I quickly looked at Portfilio, who had a look of defeat furrowed in his brow. He quickly jumped up, all eyes watching....”BINGO!!!!!!” He shouted and ran to the window. Everyone cracked up so hard. I totally thought I was going to pee!!!

HA HA HA HA HA......

You know what’s even funnier? Right after they called him, they called my number. HA HA. Everyone was like, “AAAHHHHH!!!” It was hilarious.

So, that was my experience. I saw Portfilio as I was leaving, and bid him goodbye.

That was definitely the most fun I’d ever had at the DMV!!

 

Michael

I see him everyday,
This broken, shattered man.
I've spoken to him many times,
Well at least the times I can.

And although some people find him strange,
they do not see his truth.
How easily our lives can change;
How quickly we uproot.

Some people call him "Crazy,"
And sit, and stare, and laugh.
But I just call him brother,
And smile on his behalf.

I cannot seem to understand
His life, his ways, his trials,
And I do not know what got him here;
He must live in denial.

I do not know where he may sleep,
Or if he has food to eat.
I do not feel the pain he feels
As he walks with shoeless feet.

He may be sick and dying,
Unfortunate as it may be.
But I do not know the details,
I only know what I see.

And everyday I pass him
At the bus stop there on West,
Sometimes he is shouting curses
While he beats upon his chest.

And sometimes he is still as night;
As if waiting for a change.
Like maybe if he sat long enough,
His life would rearrange.

I wonder what he was like
Before this devastation.
Was he handsome, was he smart?
And what about his Salvation?

Does God grant mercy on those like him?
That just can’t understand?
Or will he face the Lord of hosts;
As will any other man?

I wish I could just shake him free
Of the bondage and confusion
And help him see reality
And wake from this illusion.

But I cannot. I don’t know how.
All I can do is pray.
And hope that God will free his mind,
And calm this slow decay.

And day by day we’ll pass his stop,
And watch this vicious cycle.
So, If you happen to see him there
Please say hello to Michael.

I SPOKE TOO SOON....

Well, unfortunately I spoke too soon regarding my mother. She DOES have gallstones, but apparently that is NOT what is causing her problems. So, she was ordered to take some $2,000.00 test to figure out what's wrong. So now, we are again, just waiting to see what happens. If anyone reads this and happens to pray, pleast pray for my mother. Her name is Jennifer.

That's all. Sorry to be so glum. I just wanted to clear that up since my last entry was relaying a solution. But apparently, we still don't know what the problem is.

Please keep her in your prayers.

Yuck, this is frickin' nasty.....gross... 

My mother:

Well, I am a bit happy today. Well, not a bit, but actually a lot. This will sound horrible at first but the reason I am happy is because my mother has gallstones. Yeah!! Why am I happy about this? Well, for the past two years my mother has had really bad pain almost everyday. She doesn't have medical insurance so she has just lived with this pain all the time. She thought maybe it was something terribly wrong. And I admit, I wondered myself. I didn't want that to be the case, but we knew it was possible. There is a large lump in her side and we thought maybe it was a tumor. BUT IT'S NOT!! Well, she finally was able to go to the doctor. They took X-rays and after a while, they finally told her that is what it is. She has to have emergency surgery, but I am very glad that it is something that can be fixed easily. So, yeah. I'm pretty happy cause my mommy has gallstones.
I'll try and post a pic of some gallstones above, if I can find any.
Ok.....bye now.

A Hawaiian Sunset. 

ANOTHER DAY AT THE WATERING HOLE

I don't have anything important to write, but I felt like posting, so this will probably be a boring post. My friend, B spent the night last night. It was fun. She's a goof. We laughed for hours. It was nice to have her there. She'll be leaving, lucky girl, for Hawaii in 19 days now. Her husband, V has already left, and from what I've talked to him, it seems like he is having a great time. They are on permanent vacation. How nice. V said that Monday, while scuba diving for training, that he spotted an octopus, a shark, some dolphins and a sea turtle. That would be frickin' awesome. Talk about "swimming with the sharks." Next time I see them, they are both going to be super tan. Must be nice. I think I am going to go up there in February or March like I had originally planned. Maybe I'll take a friend or something, but more than likely, I'll go alone. But I have two friends over there, so I'll still have a blast.
Lets see....what else? My daughter is at work with me today. My mom went in to get her test results from the ultrasound. She has had trouble with her stomach for a couple years. We are hoping it's not anything major. I'm sure it's not. But, part of me is a little frightened. Well, at least we'll know now. I think if it were anything major, they would have told her as soon as they got the results back, but they've waited until her regular appointment, so I don't think it's anything they can't fix.
Well, like I said, this would be a boring entry.
I leave you, above, with pics of Hawaii. I wish I was there right now. That would be fabulous.

BE QUIET....I was bored.

BLUE YELLOW RED
GREEN PURPLE YELLOW
RED ORANGE PURPLE
YELLOW GREEN PINK
PURPLE RED ORANGE
PINK WHITE PURPLE
ORANGE BLUE WHITE
GREEN YELLOW PINK
WHITE PURPLE BLUE
RED GREEN YELLOW
BLUE ORANGE RED
PURPLE PINK WHITE
GREEN BLUE ORANGE
YELLOW PINK BLUE
ORANGE WHITE GREEN

Well, I was going to blog a little about my car having it’s troubles and all, but then I decided that I wouldn’t talk about that. I won’t talk about the fact that I just spent $20.00 changing the oil, which is no big deal at all. I won’t mention the fact that the same day I had to spend $30.00 to replace the brakes ‘cause that’s not really a big deal either. I also won’t talk about the fact that I still owe my step-dad two six packs of Odoul’s and two six packs of Big Tom’s. (Non-alcoholic beer----yuck.) Because really, that’s not a big deal either. And I especially won’t mention the fact that the same day I changed the oil and fixed the brakes that the regulator on the driver side automatic window broke and is getting replaced today at the rate of $139.00 plus tax for the part, plus labor which is estimated at approximately $75.00. I also won’t mention that my wonderful boyfriend is taking care of the window for me until I can pay him back which leaves me indebted to him for only God knows how long.

So, leaving all of that out......hmmmm....what SHOULD I blog about? I guess I really don’t have anything to say.....