FIRE IN THE HOLE!!! (I mean, the kitchen.)

It was a normal Saturday afternoon. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and all was well. But not for long.

After leaving work at approximately 1:30 in the afternoon, I returned home to do some much needed cleaning. I worked my way through the living room, and finally proceeded to the kitchen. When I began cleaning the kitchen, I noticed my favorite candle sitting there on the counter. I figured the kitchen could use some help in the “smell” department, so I proceeded to light the candle. Oh no. Bummer. The wick was defeated. It was no longer. The candle could not light. I have had the candle for quite some time, but always enjoyed how it smelled, so I was very disappointed to see it come to its end. I thought to myself, “Maybe if I melt the candle down, I can put another wick in it and I would get at least a few more lights out of it.

So, I put the candle in a microwave-safe container and put it in the microwave. It was taking so long to melt, so I thought that maybe it would work better if I put it in a pot and melted it on the stove. So, I turned the burner on and searched for a clean pot. For some reason, and I don’t even know why, so don’t ask, I touched the candle to the burner. It melted very quickly. And it smelled good. So, for some stupid reason, I thought it might work pretty good that way. Just rub the candle on the burner and let the fragrance emit from the small clouds of smoke. Well, it wasn’t very much longer that I realized that this was a very stupid idea. (Don’t laugh, you guys!!) So, the burner began to smoke really bad. So, I turned on the vent and swatted the smoke with my hands. (Like that ever really does any good) Anyways. The smoke had pretty much dissipated, so I went ahead to still try and melt the candle in the pot. (Idiot!!! I should have just left it alone) Well, I don’t know exactly how it happened, but when I placed the pot on the burner, something mixed wrong, I don’t know, but flames shot up!! I totally freaked out!!! I was like, “Oh my God!! Oh my God!!” I reached for a bowl that was nearby and splashed dishwater on top of the flames. Stupid!!! The flames got larger!! “Oh my God,” I thought. I started contemplating what would happen if my house totally burnt down. I filled the bowl again, just because I wasn’t going to stand there and not do anything. I drenched the stove with water, the flames looked like they were going to jump up, but then, to my surprise, the flames went out.

Whew! It was so freakin’ scary. I totally thought I was going to burn my house down. Jules had come in during the middle of this and all I could think to say was “Get out - fire!!” My brain was so amuck with thought of the total destruction of everything I owned. It was so scary. My heart was pounding for quite a while afterwards.

Later, Luke came over and I was telling him about the events of my day. I told him about going to work, and cleaning the house and going to Dollar Tree and blah blah, all the rest of my boring day. I totally forgot to tell him about the fire. Then all of the sudden, like an hour later, I remembered and was like, “Oh yeah!! And I lit my kitchen on fire!!” He was laughing at how stupid I was, but that’s okay. I forgive him.