Yummy....isn't he though? 

February 16, 2005

It’s been so long since I’ve written. I feel so horrible for not keeping up on this. If I actually did what I said I was going to do, and write down every nice, sweet or lovely thought about you, then I would have completed this book by now and probably written 10 other books. I’m sorry. So many things have been going on lately.
I’m sitting here at my desk, thinking just how wonderful you are. I wanted to remind you of something. When you took me out to dinner on Valentine’s Day and I told you that I was lucky because when I looked around that room packed with people, I still found you the most attractive man in the room; well, I meant that. It’s almost funny. You are absolutely beautiful to me. When I look at you, I don’t just see your face, your gorgeous eyes and your yummy lips, I see you. You. The man I know and love. You are amazing. I know I give you a hard time sometimes, but if you only knew what I saw when I look at you. Sometimes I get caught up when I see you. You’re so beautiful. I find myself just staring at you. I love you so much, Luke. I can’t imagine being happy without you. You are wonderful.

March 14, 2005

Geez, I am horrible, aren’t I? There are month spans of time when I don’t write. I think about you everyday, but yet, my mind escapes me, and I don’t put those thoughts down. I am sitting here at work, actually waiting for you to come and pick me up to go to the hospital to get my cast off. (I am so excited) I am sitting here anxious in my chair. Anticipating. I am not excited so much about the cast removal, not the fact that I am going to be able to be semi-normal again, but anticipating your face. I’m excited because you’re coming. Because I will kiss you as soon as I reach you. Because I will hold your hand in the truck on the way to the hospital and even that simple little moment will be so special to me. Because I will see your profile as you drive and tell myself how lucky I am every time I am near you. You will find me staring at you and a smirk will cross your face. I think you know when I am talking to myself inside my head. When I am telling myself all of these wonderful things about you and confirming the love I have for you. I see it when you smile. That cute little puffy lip smile you smile when you know what I am thinking. How you do it, I do not know. Maybe I am too obvious. I’m not sure. But I know there are times when you just know. And that makes me feel good, too. Sometimes a little embarrassed, but it still feels good.
Luke, you mean the world to me. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up next to you and see your face staring back. I want your patience in the morning and your gentleness in the evening. I want the warmth of you surrounding me as I sleep. I can’t think of what else to say right now. I’m waiting for you to walk through the door, so I can smell you; kiss you; be next to you. Love is sure consuming, isn’t it? Sometimes, even in the midst of the worst day, one thought of you takes me on a cruise around the world five times over and I have left those wretched thoughts of the horrible day behind me. I am thinking of you. You are my escape.
I love you more today than yesterday and even more every millisecond.
Until next time, my love.

This is one of the beautiful eyes that I get to stare into everyday and melt away. Can you see how I can get caught up?

WARNING!!! Mush follows....

Ok, so I am a little sentimental today. I decided to make a post about the wonderful love in my life. I doubt he will even see this as he is so caught up in his own blog, that he will not take a peek at mine until one day in the distant future he remembers that I even had a blog and decides to see if I have done anything with it.
Well, this post is dedicated to him.
Mr. Luke Allen Youngs.
Ahhhh....just the sound of his name drives me wild. Luke, hereinafter referred to as "HLM" (Honey Lovin' Marshmallows) is the most wonderful man I have ever known. Not only does he possess all of the physical attributes that make him the man of my dreams, but he also possesses the emotional aspects and the intelligence level that make me swoon over him. HLM can make me smile without saying a word. He can make me laugh with a simple notion and can make me cry in a single moment when joy has overcome me. I know, I know, I sound like an idiot. I don't think mankind created words that could do him justice. And if they did, well, then I don't know them or can't use them correctly. So, I will use what I have to explain my love.
There are some mornings when I am so rushed and so frustrated with daily events that I can barely stand it, when all of the sudden the beat "Hey Mama" plays from my cell phone and I am relieved. And although I cannot always answer it at that particular moment, I am already pleased with the sound of his voice that I haven't even heard yet. He calls to tell me Good Morning and have a nice day. How sweet. When he looks at me, I know he loves me. And all is well.
Although this is a public sight that can be viewed by others, I am going to add something to this post that will mean something to him if he ever reads it.
Luke, the next post after the picture is the last two entries from my journal.
The dates are above the entry.
I mean it every day and every time I say it.
I love you, Luke.

la toilette... 

Dissapointment

So, I decided today that my Blog sucks and will probably never improve. I am not a born-blogger like some people I know who’s wit just flows freely from them like the first urination in the morning after a long nights sleep. “I cannot live up to this”, I tell myself. “What do I have to offer these other bloggers who may come and stop at my blog and insult me.” NOTHING. I am inferior, I know this. A thousand thoughts run through my head, “What can I do to please these people?” I am at a loss. There is no hope for me. I can’t even figure out how to post a picture, and yet in my first greeting I reference my pictures. A disappointment. A big disappointment. That’s what I am.

This is me at my birthday opening one of the whole two cards I got. Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. Guess I'll go eat worms. 

Boredom.....

Boredom sucks.
I leave for my lunch break, not knowing in which direction to go. I turned right. Later, I decided I probably should have gone the other way, so I found myself making an illegal u-turn to go the way I had intended. So I'm driving along, listening to my stomach to see what I am hungry for. A burrito sounds nice at first, but then I remember that I just had a burrito yesterday. Then I thought Chinese sounded like a good substitute. No....too expensive. What to do? What to do? I kept driving west along Shaw Avenue. I saw Del Taco and decided that would be best. Not quite a burrito, and definitely not Chinese, but it would do. So, I went through the drive though and purchased a number four with a cherry coke and extra secret sauce. I did not upgrade to medium or large. I was not that hungry today.
So, I parked close to Walmart, contemplated going in, but decided to hop out and eat my lunch on the little grassy nole next to my car. So I sat there, ate my lunch, grabbed my guitar which was safely in the passenger seat and began to play. My hands began to hurt. So, I proceeded to return to my car. I left the parking lot, a little aggravated due to the traffic and construction in the area. I saw Big Lots. I stopped, went inside and went directly to the make-up department. I didn't buy much. Just an Almay eyeshadow/mascara set and a pair of sunglasses.
Then I left, drove back to work and played my guitar for a while in the parking lot.
Boredom.....ain't it great?

GREETINGS

Well hello there. Come around here often? I'm new to this place. It sure is something, isn't it?
I don't know what really to put in here. I guess I could lay down some ground rules.

Rule No. 1.: Do not talk about fight club.
Rule No. 2.: Do not talk about fight club.
Rule No. 3.: No fawning over my pictures. I know I am beautiful, but you must learn to control yourself. You'll start here.
Rule No. 4.: No running, brisk-walking, skateboarding, jogging, rollerskating, nibbling or other horseplay is allowed in and around blog area.
Rule No. 5.: No insulting me. I am the queen of the world and if you can't handle it, go blog somewhere else.
Rule No. 6.: You must have a smile on your face at all times while visiting this particular blog.
Rule No. 7.: You must enjoy my blog.

Have a wonderful day and thanks for stopping by........

Natalie